15 Minutes: nostalgia 

It's 9:10pm here, and I had to run out to my car to get some things I left in there from earlier today.  The balmy weather instantly took me back a few years or so to all those weekends visiting Alexander in Dallas.  It would usually be around this time at night that I'd be arriving there on a Friday night, or we'd be getting ready to go to do something fun.  I don't EVER leave the house at 9pm to go do anything fun anymore, because it all happens earlier.  Crazy.  I kind of miss that freedom.  I wouldn't trade the world for what motherhood and marriage and different responsibilities bless me with.  But occasionally I do miss loud music, dance parties, crowded spaces with young people, drinks all around.  I miss going on late night walks with friends or with Alex on campus protected by CSO {ha ha ha}.  

It is something wonderful to enter a bubble of like minded people.  There's a sense of security, and I realized that is part of the reason why I need to take a break from Facebook and establish relationships in our community here in Tulsa.   I finished my education when I was twenty, so everyone my age was still in college, and I was making a living and paying off loans.  Alex and I went back and forth between Houston and Dallas, scraping up enough money for gas or a bus ticket.  I could escape reality and enter the bubble for a weekend, having long breakfasts with my best friends and discussing various topics over tea or coffee, and be wild late at night.  I was plenty stupid many weekends (nothing too crazy, don't worry. I hadn't discovered the magic of activated charcoal and digestive enzymes yet...{ultimate hangover cure}), and there were a few times where miscommunications happened turning things sour, but it was still fun.  I do wish I had spent more time doing particular things with particular people instead of doing x, y, and z.  But the past happened and that is that.  I know I will say the same about now when Tom is older, and I try to accept that life is one long education, and that I will keep learning from past experiences and mistakes.  Living in the past brings no fruit.  Today Tom figured out how to stick fingers in both his nostrils at the same time, trying to shove meat into his ears, and he figured out how to bounce a ball.  If learning from the past had any hand in that, we are sure on the right path to great parenting.  

Alexandra LemkeComment