My prolonged absence was due mainly to the fact that we were out of town for almost a month! But hi, again.
On January 3rd, it was two years since Alex and I were wed. It's been awesome, filled with ups, downs, and inside outs. In those two years, we have learned a whole lot about each other, ourselves, and life. Let me just share some things.
It's okay to have a great big dumb argument about how to place books on the bookshelf. Have no fear, because any idea of how you wanted the books arranged will completely go amuck once you have a child trying to tear off the covers and eat the corners. So in the end, no one wins.
Realistically, Alexander doesn't sleep with blankets unless he's really cold...so it worked out that I had saved my down comforter from college (affectionately named "Marshmallow", but nowadays it should just be called "Melted" [fluff doesn't last, y'all]). It's okay if only one person stays cozy, some people just can't appreciate it as their body temperature wasn't made for cozy. Snuggling under the blankets lasts only until he wants to go to sleep, then I'm all snuggled under my college blanket, by myself. sadddd.
It's okay to call putting dishes in the dishwasher by a different name. I called it "stacking" and "unstacking" the dishwasher. He calls it "loading" and "unloading", and asked me what I'm actually stacking up in the dishwasher...um good point. BUT I do a better job of it than he, there's lots of strategy involved, like Stratego. [actually, he gets all the dishes in the dishwasher; I tend to hand-wash pots and pans, knives and other utensils...so he actually gets more brownie points]
I've also learned that Tom will survive whether Alexander or I is watching him. He'll survive the calm days and running of errands just as much as he'll survive being tossed upside down and bonked on the head with foam balls. He laughs at my goofiness more because it's rare, but he cries whenever his daddy leaves the room. He says "Dada," and does not say "Mama." Kids need a dad just as much as they need a mom. How else would they know about politics, fire, and how dumb a certain author of a popular board book series is?!
Growing up, I always assumed guys LOVED girls with curly hair. So I wanted curly hair, either permanently, or by curling iron. I never got too good at it because I didn't practice enough. Then I marry a guy who loves my hair best when it's in a ponytail or straightened. EASY PEASY and speaking right to my heart.
One thing he just learned is that I didn't really cook before getting married. My mom just told him a few days ago. He wasn't supposed to know that. But to be honest, the stove in our first apartment WAS really atrocious...#pleasebelieveme He doesn't rate my cooking that high, only because he knows what I'm capable of. Haha he gently told me soon after getting married that he would really like it if I could perfect a few dishes before experimenting with others. So I have. I'm pretty sure I've got those recipes memorized too.
I've learned that he can do anything and everything around the house. Like he can deep clean better than I can, and he can fix anything too. Except laundry. He hates laundry, and he couldn't fold to save his life until I taught him.
He learned that I needed help planning out my chore list for the week, otherwise I wouldn't get to everything on the one day I set aside to clean ALL THE THINGS. I get would frustrated and either very mad or just cry. So he bought me a planner, and told me to choose one task a day, and just focus on that. Life saver is he.
Our names mean "helper of mankind," and that means something different to the both of us. He wants to help with big picture things, and I want to help in little picture things. Which means we can both forget about the other picture. Which is why it's perfect that God put us together: to help the other see.
We've both learned just how much our family lives influenced in the way we communicate. He comes from a mostly boy family, and I come from a mostly girl family. He needs things to be said directly, and I would beat around the bush to not offend. We've become more gracious and more direct, depending on the issue.
I've learned to simplify (see previous posts and themes on this blog!) because of how simply he lives. He'd rather have quality over quantity. And now, I would too. Just because something is good doesn't mean you need it.
I've also been enlightened to the genius of "sales": you're still not "saving" money because you're spending money to get the sale. Unless you were already buying the product in the first place, so you're spending less money. Some people buy for this and that sale just in case. But you don't save any money. You save more if you're patient. There's always a sale.
He's learned my style pretty well too. Any gifts he's bought me have been PERFECT for me, and for that I am truly grateful. He still is hard to buy for.
We are also still learning that love is a choice, that you have to desire the other person's needs for that person. Basically, if I need Alexander to get up in the morning to do some time sensitive thing for me, he needs to want to do that for me because I need him to do it. And vice versa. It's a scary thing, wanting something for someone else because they need it.
We're only two years in, and we're nicknaming it the "terrible twos." Things might change, we might learn other things, or need to unlearn others. It's all a work in progress.
So for now, cheers to two years. May this year be so very blessed! If you end up reading this, know that I love you with all my heart Alexander. <3