Orderliness - my interior struggle
ha ha ha. When I first heard Father mention this at Theology on Tap the other night, the first thought that popped into my head was organization, I'm good at that, and hey! I'm orderly! I couldn't have been MORE wrong.
Father spoke about these two virtues first:
Prudence - choosing wisely while looking backwards and forwards at the same time.
Magnanimity - the desire and intent to do only great things that require prudence and "slowness" to perform them well.
Orderliness - the habit of a prudent, magnanimous person doing the things they should be doing when and where and how they should be doing them.
My whole life I have either been a procrastinator or very scrupulous. No. Joke. I hate those two things about myself, and they've always been an interior struggle for me. I do function well under duress.
Example A: ten page paper due at 11 am, and it's 11 pm and I've only written a page and a half, but still manage to pull off an A- afterwards. Who cares about sleep when you've got coffee.
Example B: the saints can do saintly stuff because God gives them the grace to, and maybe He is trying to give me the grace too and I just don't know it! Okay now time to be hard on myself about every little thing.
So apparently I am either a hot or cold person. I dislike extremes very much, but that might be because I've always struggled with extremes in my interior life. I usually put things off until last minute, and take forever to email or text or call someone back. I tend to work best under pressure, I'd rather observe others lives instead of amend my own. It's really pathetic, actually. I've always been one to read and look at magazines and catalogs, dreaming instead of doing. It's caused me lots of mental angst, and blaming other people for problems I was creating myself. I realized, after a homily I think, or a theological discussion with my friends, that part of it was becoming prideful too. I thought of myself too much. It wasn't that I thought highly of myself, but just thinking about myself so much in that I couldn't think of the Lord more.
Father handed out a pile of colored slips of paper with various virtues on each slip, and guess which one I got...
|from Headed Somewhere|
humility. Which is actually perfect. I am pretty sure that my Guardian Angel was laughing. I constantly try to remember this quote, and while I am not always good with putting it into practice, I am trying and praying my hardest to do so.
Father ended his talk by saying that one way to start achieving orderliness is by the starting every day off with the "heroic minute" by NOT pressing snooze and sleeping in.
The heroic minute. It is the time fixed for getting up. Without hesitation: a supernatural reflection and... up! The heroic minute: here you have a mortification that strengthens your will and does no harm to your body.
~ Saint Jose Maria Escriva
So far, I've set my alarm and got up with it every morning this week, and it has been most productive. I had all yesterday afternoon free...and I didn't know what to do, so hooray for trying to achieve orderliness! I am assuming life is simpler with this virtue, so far it has been, but I've heard it takes about 30 days for something to become a habit.
Pray for me in this little journey of mine, and let's fill our lives with heroic minutes!